I collapse on my bed after a long day and open TikTok. Immediately, I’m hit with a slew of day-in-the-life videos featuring Pilates and slick back buns. They’re as comforting as they are idyllic. For once, I get to escape my mundane life and enter the life of a “clean girl,” whose life appears to be perfect. After doomscrolling, I head over to Pinterest, where I add pins of outfits and recipes to my “clean girl” board. I’m not alone in my fantasizing, though. According to Pinterest, there has been a 60% increase in searches for a “core aesthetic” since 2018. From “dark academia” to “cottagecore,” the aesthetics displayed on social media are endless.

But what about the Shakespeare-reading, EDM-listening, park-frolicking adrenaline junkie? What happens when someone’s identity fits into more than one box? While visualizing an ideal life can be helpful in creating new habits, it can also trap someone in a box, keeping them from exploring other avenues that may interest them.  

This phenomenon is illustrated perfectly by the polarization of today’s politics, especially now that they are so closely tied to social media. As views become increasingly black-or-white (largely due to the fact that extreme and explosive opinions garner more attention), people are pigeonholed into embodying a set of beliefs solely by association with their political party. By 2025, the percentage of Americans identifying as politically moderate fell to a record low of 34%, down from 43% in the early 1990s. Yet, 87% of Americans say they are “tired of political division,” and 65% report feeling “exhausted” when just thinking about politics. The stats reveal an alarming reality: political beliefs have become an identity with very little wiggle room.  If (God forbid!) someone explores different ideas, especially ones associated with opposing political beliefs, they are ostracized and labeled a grifter. 

Even on a more granular level, trends and aesthetics have created a world where identity is synonymous with a lifestyle chosen by algorithms—or really anyone but yourself. On Pinterest, for instance, aesthetic-driven ads historically have an 80-88% success rate. From outfits to accessories to home decor, Pinterest (and most social media platforms) capitalizes on our desires to find an identity, which begs the question: why do we feel the need to have an aesthetic in the first place? The simple answer is finding out who we are and figuring out our preferences is a collective universal desire. Having aesthetics helps us form an identity, express personal style, and immerse ourselves in a social group of similar interests. But although having an aesthetic isn’t inherently harmful, it can become restrictive, narrowing our identities as we fear tarnishing a carefully curated image or inviting judgement from others. In other words, we care a lot about the optics of our lives and conforming to the societal expectations of “normal behavior.”

So, you might be thinking, “What do I do with this information?” Well, you’re already done with the first step: awareness. But it doesn’t end there. Identities are complex and ever-changing throughout life, so it would be a shame to limit yourself to just one aesthetic. As scary as it might seem, the answer is really just as simple as taking action to explore your interests and double down on your values. Learn more about the things that perplex you and keep you up at night—the internet may be an intimidating place, but it has a wealth of knowledge on pretty much any topic under the sun! Get to know yourself better. Put away distractions and let your mind wander from time to time. You’ll learn more about who you are when you aren’t pressured to conform. After all this, you might find yourself gravitating towards one aesthetic or ten aesthetics, and both are totally acceptable. But all of this is to say, you don’t have to be the “clean girl” or the “cool girl.” You can just be you.