by Aye N. Spire and Mo T. Vay-Shunal | April 1, 2022

Every Saint Francis educator’s goal is to help their students learn and discover a passion. Certain staff members are known to have quite idiosyncratic methods for motivating their classes. From humor to utter confusion, Saint Francis’s faculty sure know how to keep their students’ attention. Without further ado, The Lancer is excited to reveal our top ten inspirational quotes from Saint Francis teachers from this year.

10. “A Dios Mio (Oh my God)” — Profe (Ms. Hilda Brittain)

 9. “Poggers.” — Ms. Vanessa Staton

 8. “You’re either a waffle or a taco in this world… the key thing is not to waffle.” — Ms. Amy Sherrard (’10)

 7. (Before a math test) “May the sine be with you. May the tangent be with you. May the trig function be with you.” — Ms. Carly Deale (’16)

 6. (Imitating people in the United States when Germany took over Czechoslovakia pre-WWII) “I don’t care! I can’t even pick out Czechoslovakia on a map!” — Mr. Matthew Scharrenberg (’95)

 5. (Having a mental breakdown about not being able to come up with something funny) “L-O-L-O-L Ms. Savinovich, you’re hilarious.” *Italian hands* — Ms. Grace Savinovich

 4. “Who is Joe?” — Ms. Rachel Safier

 3. “Sometimes, on a rainy day, I look at your guys’ homework and cry.” — Mr. Bob Lautenslager

 2. “No one gets partial credit when people fall and die into their death.” — Mr. Chihiro Ikezi

 1. “Hurry up! Get in class! We are going to talk about SEX!” — Ms. Rosalyn Moorhouse

This is the April Fool’s edition of the paper. We regret to inform you that all the content contained therein is fictional.