by Pun-dit LaBlague | March 30, 2021
Do your excuses for late work ever feel staler than a piece of catcher-in-the-rye bread? Are they as old and pruny as a raisin in the sun? Do you feel wald-en by your teacher’s scrutiny and think a little civil disobedience could do you some good? If things fall apart in your English grades when you yammer out a half-baked excuse, consider some novel humor!
Q: Why is your essay late?
A: A beowulf ate it.
Q: Why didn’t you turn it in earlier?
A: I was waiting for godot, but he had a colon problem. It was a difficult period of time for him.
Q: Is there anything else in your life that’s taking priority?
A: We’re going into the college application season, and those essays gats-be wildin’!
I guarantee you that after these suggestions, your English grades will undergo a dramatic metamorphosis: a few well-placed quips, and low grades wouldn’t dare to bug you. With puns inspired by books like the Grapes of Wrath at your stein-beck and call, you’ll never wine again!
Disclaimer: Pun-dit bears no liablility if English teachers do not odys-se-us or our grades any differently after hearing these puns.
