The Laughter Online

Ghost of the 100 building wreaks havoc

by Casper Hundo and Julius Ceasar in the Freezer | April 1, 2023

Art by Smriti Vijay (’25)

An angry ghost seemingly exposed by the demolition of the 100 building has terrorized Saint Francis for the past month, creating chaos for students and educators alike.

The beloved 100 building was razed at the start of the year, coinciding with the opening of the new Eggers Innovation Center. Unfortunately, the ghost’s disruptions have dampened the positive mood surrounding the change, but authorities are deep in investigations of the problem. 

The ghost’s actions can be traced back to the very beginning of the second semester. Mr. Pasion’s thermostat in the portables never worked for as long as students could remember, and it seems that in an attempt to disrupt students’ learning or bring attention to its agenda, the ghost has broken the thermostat in Mr. Pasion’s new room located on the second floor of the new building. Students’ attempts to raise the room’s temperature have failed, resulting in frustration, shivers, and difficulties learning.

Students are not the only population on campus being plagued by the ghost. Educators have reported that tests that were turned in with student names on them did not have any names on them a few hours later, leaving them scrambling to figure out whose test is whose based on handwriting. The ghost’s vengeance truly knows no bounds.

Several juniors and seniors reported receiving break-up notes signed by their significant other, but when they asked their partners about these notes, their authenticity was put into question. With Junior Prom having just passed and Senior Ball approaching, many found it strange that seemingly happy couples suddenly reached their breaking point. With the discovery of the ghost, students have realized that the ghost’s intent is expanding beyond mild disturbances to creating significant damage to interpersonal relationships at Saint Francis.

The process of attributing the disturbances to the ghost was not easy. One of the student body’s largest complaints over the past few months has been feeling a general cold presence while walking around the campus. However, the cause of this issue was misdiagnosed as the atmospheric rivers that have plagued California with harsh rain and winds since January. 

Other issues, such as technical difficulties and pranks on educators, were misattributed to the increased second-semester workload and senior pranks. However, halfway through the semester, the administration narrowed the causes to the ghost.

School administrators are working hard to identify a solution to this cursed problem. A recent press release announced that as a temporary solution, the new Eggers Innovation Center will receive an add-on outside Mr. Ikezi’s room on the second floor. The new room will serve as a tribute to the departed 100 building; the hope is that the ghost stops terrorizing students and educators and instead takes the new room as its abode. Mr. Ikezi has voiced his enthusiasm for the new arrangement and is eagerly anticipating the sounds of the loud ghost next door. 

As for a permanent solution, a room for the ghost—intended to placate it—was added to the blueprints of the upcoming Welcome Center, set for completion in 2024.

Representatives for the ghost declined to comment on the matter.

This is the April Fool’s edition of the paper. We regret to inform you that all the content contained therein is fictional.

Categories: The Laughter Online

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