Hot Takes: freshman and junior edition

by Aanya Mittu (’25) and Smriti Vijay (’25) | March 31, 2023

Art by Megan Wang (’25)

For the last issue of the newspaper, The Lancer worked day and night to figure out which of the remaining two classes would receive the honored opportunity to share their hot takes: the juniors, or the freshmen? After hours of deliberation, multiple conferences, and a few bouts of philosophical banter, The Lancer realized there really is no difference between the two grades. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, depending on the way you look at it, the two classes share many characteristics, including their utter irrelevancy. Therefore, The Lancer is happy to announce, it is finally time for the juniors and freshmen to shine!

Starting off strong, Sanjana Srikanth (’24) valiantly drags an iconic piece of American television through the mud: “Friends, the show, doesn’t have great humor and isn’t that good. It’s basic compared to Parks and Rec.” It seems that Srikanth is bored of the same five friends in the bustling city of New York. Yet Parks and Rec’s setting of glorious Indiana—the land of corn, steel mills, and everything else yawn-inducing since before the twentieth century—is somehow more entertaining, if Srikanth is someone worth trusting. 

Even the most lovable sitcoms are not invincible to criticism, however. Katherine Nguyen (’26) denounces a fall-favorite: “Gilmore Girls sucks and it’s unrealistic. Rory is my least favorite character.” A sharp contrast from the Pinterest “girlies,” Nguyen does not enjoy cozying up with a cup of tea and a knotted blanket to binge-watch a self-proclaimed nerd rejecting four different boys and somehow getting into Yale. The Lancer, for anyone wondering, is team Logan. 

Staying with entertainment, Trevor Kidd (’26) confidently states, “Ice Spice sucks.” For those of you who are unfamiliar with the American rapper with an orange afro, Ice Spice recently gained fame within the music industry due to her lyrical prowess and catchy beats.  If Ice Spice ever got wind of this opinion, she would definitely say Kidd’s taste in music is nonexistent. 

Yet Pia Agrawal (’26) may take the cake for the most controversial opinion. Unlike every other teenager, Pia shocks the entirety of TikTok by saying, “Harry Styles is unattractive.” Agarwal must not enjoy catching sight of this Englishman’s receding hairline everywhere she goes! 

Moving on to fashion statements, Angela Zhong (’24) provides her insight into the trendiest hairstyle of the 2020s: mullets. She claims, “Mullets never were and never will be fashionable.” At this time, The Lancer would like to remind everyone that violence is not permitted on campus, so if any fist-fights have been incited by this statement, they must be settled off campus. Punishment for the violation of this rule will be two weeks of detention, along with a buzz cut administered by the venerable Mr. Ikezi.

In terms of academics, Byron Gonzalez (’26) expresses his opinion on Saint Francis’s Spanish classes: “Spanish is easy.” ¡Tal vez todos somos estúpidos si Byron piensa que es fácil!

Saint Francis’s very own cereal connoisseur, Tanushri Rajesh (’26), finally puts an end to the everlasting debate. What goes first: The cereal or the milk? She asserts, “Milk goes before cereal. Cereal before milk is nasty.” Does Rajesh also lack taste buds? The doctors consulted about this grievous issue all say yes.

Throughout The Lancer‘s journey to uncover the hottest takes held by Saint Francis’s very own juniors and freshmen, it seems at least one difference between the classes has been revealed: the freshmen are much more vocal about their contentious thoughts than the juniors! In fact, it has been reported that juniors were seen running away from The Lancer’s honored interviewers. Cowards? The answer to that may be the hottest take yet!

Categories: Features

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