Features

Teacher’s Hot Takes

by Smriti Vijay (’25) and Aanya Mittu (’25) | March 10, 2023

Art by Megan Wang (’25)

Our tenured faculty here at Saint Francis has, no doubt, amassed a variety of unpopular opinions throughout their time as educators. From new teachers to those who have taught at Saint Francis for debates, The Lancer set out to find our favorite teachers’ hot takes. 

Starting strong, Ms. Andrea Joslyn has some strong opinions about the correct way to eat a classic hamburger: “You have to put ketchup on the meat instead of on the bun, so the bun doesn’t get soggy.” One would think that the bun would get soggy anyway, considering the ingredients are all stacked upon each other. Maybe Joslyn also possesses a unique take on the form of a hamburger—perhaps a deconstructed version? How sacrilegious! 

Mr. Daniel Meyer continues with the culinary complaints: “It’s okay to put ketchup on a Chicago hot dog. You get to do what you like to your food.” What is a Chicago hot dog? No idea. Why does it vary from a regular hot dog that supposedly can have ketchup on it? The mystery remains. However, Meyer keeps an open mind, and it is appreciated (though perhaps not by an opinionated Joslyn). 

It’s no secret that teachers must wake up earlier than students in order to get to school on time for collaboration. Mr. Cade Nethercott, famed AP World History teacher, explains, “Snooze buttons are dumb and should be banned.” Will he maintain the same sentiment toward LEQs? His students can only dream.

Evidently an avid environmentalist, Mr. Carlos Eulate asks, “Why do I have to choose between paper and plastic? It’s too much pressure!” Surely the 1,000 turtles dying from strangulation by plastic sympathize, agreeing that the conundrum is just too much to handle.

Mr. Jeff Egan attacks the definition of movie theaters, a staple of strip malls everywhere. He claims, “If a movie theater doesn’t have milk duds, it’s not a movie theater.” Now, we were under the impression that movie theaters consisted of only lounge chairs, projectors, and sound systems, but apparently milk duds are just as integral! The only question is, well, how? Seems like the religion teacher believes movie theaters would be a “dud” without the sweet snack. Egan follows up his bold claim with an imperative: “If you go to a movie theater, you have to get popcorn, Diet Coke, and milk duds.” One can only wonder how those with dietary restrictions will ever get Egan’s wholehearted approval. 

Returning back to the grounds of our treasured Saint Francis, Mr. David Cobb gives a lukewarm take on students’ study habits, saying, “Too many students rely on their retake as opposed to just studying for the first time.” While all his fellow teachers may band together in agreement, the students will certainly continue to stand firm on their interpretation of the grading policy. We can only warn Cobb’s AP Biology students about his opinions and provide solutions—we recommend creating study groups. We’re sure Cobb would be happy to give a TED Talk about effective studying techniques!

Finally, most regard the music industry as diverse enough to have something for everyone’s particular tastes, but Ms. Natalie Bostrom disagrees. She brazenly declares, “I’m not really a music person and will sometimes sit in the car in silence!” Maybe when she’s had the pleasure of listening to Travis Scott’s melodious bars, or Twenty One Pilots’ soulful ballads, her opinions will change. Or at least, that’s what the sophomores and seniors think, if their hot takes are something worth trusting—and they definitely are. 

Long-revered, the educators of Saint Francis have finally turned their focus away from their respective school subjects and turned to educating the public on their uncompromising opinions. The petition to make teachers’ hot takes a core class is linked below!

Categories: Features

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