“What time is it? Summertime!” As High School Musical’s basketball star Chad Danforth once said, summer is (almost) here, and the last push of the school year—spring break, AP exams, finals week—will all be over in just eight short weeks. And, with the end of all this stress comes warm weather, tropical vacations, a plethora of free time, and, everyone’s favorite—summer reading!
But this year’s summer reading is out with the old and in with the new. After a heated staff meeting where Mr. Cardaughter clutched The Odyssey tight to his chest and chairs were overturned in a science-department-wide scramble for the scantron sheets, a new school decision has been made and summer reading will never be the same. Trust me, these changes will make you relish the days you spent hours reading agonizingly detailed descriptions of the 1880s Nebraskan countryside in My Antonia or the late August nights you hunched over a Monster-covered desk to get through the final pages of Give Me Liberty: An American History, motivated only by the fear of a summer reading test on the second day of class.
Teachers feel that previous summer assignments were inadequate at preparing students for their classroom learning. Instead, they want students to have a wide bank of knowledge that they can draw on to enhance their class experience. These desires are certainly reflected in the new summer curriculum with one small flaw—seeing the new reading requirements, there might not be any students willing to take their classes. Without further ado, here are some of the most notable changes.
Starting off strong, incoming freshmen aspiring to take English 1H may never make it to campus; their summer requirements are simply, and I quote, “read and annotate Moby Dick, David Copperfield, War and Peace, and Infinite Jest” (SFHS Academics). And did I mention that there will be a reading check on the first day of class? Moreover, seniors aren’t being let off the hook. Mr. Caroler will ask them to write, direct, and produce their own film in preparation for his Film as Lit course (with no extra credit even if it wins an Academy Award). And it’s only fitting that the first homework assignment will be an essay on their favorite student-directed film, delivered orally, in Yoda-speak.
As a final crackdown on any remaining summer joy, juniors planning to take AP English Language will submit a handwritten essay on “the world as we know it” in iambic pentameter. Ms. Hisard hopes this new assignment will “foster curiosity within students”—and students think Ms. Hisard will enter a classroom of empty seats on August 15. Worst of all, Madame Sapphire’s AP French Language class strongly recommends that students perfect their croissant-baking skills for a first day in-person demonstration that will tragically involve zero student croissant-tasting.
So Chad, will this summer really be “the time of our lives” or will we all be buried in books with eye bags drooping down to our knees? With this new summer regime, I’m not so sure.
