Why is sitting alone at lunch the scarlet letter of high school? It almost feels like the Hunger Games with everybody’s judging eyes upon you. You look around, clench your food, and wonder if eating alone is some kind of social death sentence. But why is solitude viewed as a failure and not as an act of unapologetic confidence? Maybe it’s time we revisit why we are scared to be alone. 

There’s a certain stigma attached to kids who choose to spend time alone. They’re often considered “loners” or assumed to lack basic social skills. From selective group chats to social media feeds littered with group pictures, teens are constantly conditioned to believe that if they are alone, they are unwanted, uncool, and embarrassing. This pressure to align with social rules is called normative conformity—a psychological phenomenon where one changes behaviors to fit in and gain social approval. 

This sets off a vicious cycle where the fear of judgment becomes paralyzing. The act of sitting alone becomes subservient to the anxiety of wondering whether people are assuming you’re lonely or unpopular just because you’re not surrounded by a crowd. This constant need for social validation leads many students to fill every minute with others, even when they don’t feel the urge to. And it’s not just you. Many teens feel this way, yet the fear of judgment makes us feel isolated in our experience. This pressure to conform takes a toll on our mental well-being, promoting anxiety, stress, and unhealthy comparisons that chip away at our self-worth. 

But solitude, when embraced, offers something far more valuable than the constant noise of social conformity. Solitude provides an essential space for emotional regulation, creativity, and self-reflection. Just fifteen minutes of quiet can give your mind the freedom to process thoughts, regulate emotions, and spark creativity. Solitude isn’t about wallowing in a pit of self-loathing. It’s about reclaiming your time for growth and reflection. 

In a study, Rebecca Ratner, marketing professor at the University of Maryland, suggests that people actually underestimate how much they’ll enjoy activities they do alone. Rather than avoiding alone time, we should normalize it as an activity that prioritizes mental health and personal development. When we become comfortable with our own company, we find that it helps us connect more deeply with ourselves. Solitude is a time to be unapologetically you and to start shaping the future you want. The next time you’re tempted to fill every second with people or noise, challenge yourself to embrace your own company. Just take even a small moment to yourself. See how it feels. Remember, being alone isn’t a curse—it’s a privilege. It’s your time to build the best version of yourself, free from the noise of the world around you.